Still going!

Monday was weigh in. I am down to 254! 

I went to water aerobics last night and the teacher asked for milestones. I fought my usual shyness and volunteered. I shared that I had hit my 12lb mark the day before. Every person in the class was clapping, cheering and congratulating me. One lady even came and gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me. That kind of reception is amazing to me and was exactly what I needed. It always seems to come at exactly the right time. 

Last week I was having a hard time staying motivated to stay on track. I walked past Mom and she said she was proud of how well I was sticking with it. (She also will not let me skip the gym. I attempted to skip the gym last Thursday but Mom talked me into it. I had the guts to try the same thing again Friday, but she wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that I was questioning it. She just kept right on talking like she didn't hear me and went on planning the evening around my going to the gym.) She has been great.

I love that the scale has gone down every week, that my exercises are getting easier and my pants are getting baggier. I am struggling, though , to keep the negative thoughts at bay. I am forever calculating how long it will take me to lose certain amounts of weight, worrying that I will hit a plateau before I start to look any different, worrying that the changes I have made aren't enough to make a real difference. 

I am also addicted to the scale. I weigh myself daily (sometimes 4-5 times a day). I am to afraid that if I don't peek through the week, I will be disappointed on Monday at weigh in. 

I did have a big breakthrough when I went to my cousin's wedding this weekend. I made smart choices in the buffet line and counted points for every thing! And, for the record, no cake for me!

This week I also changed how I am using the resistance circuit. My cousin, who works at a  gym, suggested not working the same muscles everyday. So, instead of working every machine everyday, I should be doing arms one day, legs the next day... I am really fighting the fear that this is going to hurt my progress. 

I need to work on: eating a balanced diet and making sure I get foods from every category, everyday, making smarter snacking choices, getting more sleep (ha!) and weighing myself less.