OooOooh! Halfway there! OooOooh! Livin' on A Prayer....

It has been brought to my attention that I have left my little blog in dire need of an update.

This is most certainly true. You got it kids.

Weigh in was this morning and....drumroll please...

I am halfway to my goal!!!!

I looked down at the scale to realize that I had lost 50lbs!

I have been surprised, impressed, excited, etc... by the numbers I'd seen on the scale before, but his was the first time that I just stood there staring. I literally stood with my mouth hanging open trying to process what I saw. I'm halfway done!

The big kicker for me was the actual number on the screen. I started this journey at 266. Today I was at 216. The fact that I have made it to the 50lb mark is huge, but the fact that I am almost out of the 200's is unfathomable to me. I don't remember being in the 100's. Ever. I remember being 90ish in elementary school then don't remember weighing again till high school where I was in the 200's. I really don't know what reaction I will have when I make it into the 100's. I will tell you that I think it will be more staring with my jaw on the floor and probably a little bit of tears.

I am so thankful for everything that has come together to get me where I am. I know that I am not the type of person to stick with things that are difficult and uncomfortable to me. I am so thankful that God has heard my prayers and given me the ability to follow through. I am so so grateful for my family. (My mom really.) There were times when I would've dropped out of the gym, stopped counting my points, etc... If not for her support, her praise and her guilt trips (when I need them) I don't think this would have lasted.

It is an amazing feeling to have someone give me a sweater that they thought would be cute on me, think it looks terribly small but try it on only to have it fit! It is still unbelievable to me that I can shop in the 'regular' sections of stores now. Never would I have imagined that I would be moving from an XL down to a Large. At this time last year, the sweaters I was buying were 2x moving up to 3x.

I am so so so so thankful. I hope that I do not ever take for granted the change that has happened in my life.

I am looking forward to the next 50lbs. The next time I make a 50lb update, I will be announcing the end of this race!!!! I know this will be the harder of the two sides of the journey. I know that the hard work will be worth it.

Yay!!!!

amendedment.

I can't believe I forgot this yesterday but this news was huge!!

Mom and I were out shopping Friday night and I saw the cutest sweater. It was in the Misses section, which still makes me doubt myself. I grabbed an extra large and it fit! Actually, it was a little baggy!! By the time I will be able to wear it, an extra large would be way too big. I tried on a large... It fit!!!!

meh.

Well, it has been one week and I have gained 0.4 lbs. Not too bad, I guess. If I have to gain, I'm good with it being under a pound.

I only worked out once last week. I did do a lot of walking with the little guy I take care of, though. My eating was not great. My biggest workout of the week (Thursday night Zumba) was cut short. I decided to be an idiot and not eat like an rational person that day. I ate an ok breakfast, but didn't feel like much at lunch. Once I started the hard stuff at the gym it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got the side cramps that usually come when you run. After the big 7-minute song I bent over to catch my breath in my side would knock it off. It just got worse. I just about blacked out, was light headed and dizzy. So, for the first time ever, I had to leave Zumba early. I know that I was not feeling well, but I really felt like a failure. It felt like everyone was watching the fat girl who couldn't handle it.

I hopped off the scale today determined to make this week different. I only have a few weeks left before a lot of my time and focus goes back to school, so I want to spend as much time as possible working out. But........

I almost missed Zumba tonight. I stayed late at work so that my boss could get some grocery shopping done. I messed around leaving b/c I was having a good time with the little guy. I debated the entire time I was driving. I sped like a maniac (actually this is nothing out of the ordinary) and made it only 15 minutes late. This is a huge victory for me. Normally, I would rather skip altogether than come into a class late.

I had also resolved to get a better handle on my eating this week. I have become very comfortable lately. I've not been writing things down as I eat or measuring strictly. I've been doing more estimating and journaling at the end of the day. I've not really paid any attention at all to being sure I get all my healthy requirements. But....

It is that week. The dreaded one week a month that sabotages me every time. I am writing this with some shortbread cookies and milk in front of me. Its fat free milk though!

I regret it already. That is what my weekly points are for though. No more of this. I need some suggestions for this week. I can't run around like a mad woman this time.