meh.

Well, it has been one week and I have gained 0.4 lbs. Not too bad, I guess. If I have to gain, I'm good with it being under a pound.

I only worked out once last week. I did do a lot of walking with the little guy I take care of, though. My eating was not great. My biggest workout of the week (Thursday night Zumba) was cut short. I decided to be an idiot and not eat like an rational person that day. I ate an ok breakfast, but didn't feel like much at lunch. Once I started the hard stuff at the gym it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got the side cramps that usually come when you run. After the big 7-minute song I bent over to catch my breath in my side would knock it off. It just got worse. I just about blacked out, was light headed and dizzy. So, for the first time ever, I had to leave Zumba early. I know that I was not feeling well, but I really felt like a failure. It felt like everyone was watching the fat girl who couldn't handle it.

I hopped off the scale today determined to make this week different. I only have a few weeks left before a lot of my time and focus goes back to school, so I want to spend as much time as possible working out. But........

I almost missed Zumba tonight. I stayed late at work so that my boss could get some grocery shopping done. I messed around leaving b/c I was having a good time with the little guy. I debated the entire time I was driving. I sped like a maniac (actually this is nothing out of the ordinary) and made it only 15 minutes late. This is a huge victory for me. Normally, I would rather skip altogether than come into a class late.

I had also resolved to get a better handle on my eating this week. I have become very comfortable lately. I've not been writing things down as I eat or measuring strictly. I've been doing more estimating and journaling at the end of the day. I've not really paid any attention at all to being sure I get all my healthy requirements. But....

It is that week. The dreaded one week a month that sabotages me every time. I am writing this with some shortbread cookies and milk in front of me. Its fat free milk though!

I regret it already. That is what my weekly points are for though. No more of this. I need some suggestions for this week. I can't run around like a mad woman this time.